Waking Up Is Easy
by Fingersnaps
Summary: A Tim/Tony friendship/hurt/comfort story inspired by a wonderful prompt from Precious Pup, there are some tough times ahead for our Very Special Agents…
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Gibbs took another swig of coffee, he hated hospital coffee, but it was better than nothing, and right now he needed something...The waiting room was quiet, way too quiet, just the sound of four people breathing. Abby's tears had stopped at last, her face was streaked with mascara, but she made no attempt to clean herself up. Ziva was staring at the door, she hadn't moved since they got here except to shake her head when Ducky asked if she wanted a drink. Tony...he was sitting, head bowed, a blanket draped over his shoulders, obscuring the scrubs he was wearing...he was as silent as the rest, even Tony couldn't find any words...The door opened and they all looked up expectantly, Ducky came in and shook his head. "Still no news."

The ME walked over to the Senior Field Agent, shook his head slightly, gave a brief sigh and lifted up Tony's chin. "You should drink that while it's hot, you need to keep warm. I still say you should have been admitted…Anthony, are you listening to me?"

Obediently, but silently Tony sipped at the hot chocolate that Ducky had forced into his trembling hands. He didn't need to be admitted, he wasn't going anywhere, not until they knew. He'd sleep on the floor if he had to, but he was not going home. He heard quiet footsteps and felt a gentle head slap.

"Hey Tony, You are not to blame for this, do you hear?"

Tony started to shiver again…not to blame, if only that were true…

Four Hours Earlier

"We should call Gibbs."

"Lighten up McRulebook, you're the one who found the tracks, you should be happy I agreed to follow you."

It was late afternoon on a chill November day, what little daylight there had been was fading fast as Tony and Tim trudged through the rain soaked Greenbelt Park. The MCRT had been called when Park Rangers found the body of a Marine Corporal hanging from a tree, dressed in uniform, and with his throat cut from ear to ear. Ziva was sketching the scene; Gibbs was interviewing the Rangers and would then assist Ducky and Jimmy in getting the Corporal down and on his way back to NCIS.

Tony and Tim had been sent to check the perimeter, and it was during that search that Tim had found the freshly broken branches and the impression of heavy boots on the muddy ground. They'd been following the trail, and it was leading them further away from the rest of the team.

"But if he's still around, we may need backup."

"Yadda, yadda…shh…you hear that?"

Tim shook his head. "All I hear is the water."

"There's…" Whatever he had been about to say died in his throat as a burly man came out of the bushes and grabbed Tony from behind. Tim went for his gun.

"That would be a bad idea, you want him to live, throw your gun in the water."

Tony wanted to shout at Tim, shoot the bastard; but there was a knife at his throat, and if this was the guy who killed their Marine, Tony had no doubt that he knew how to use it. Tim turned slowly and threw his gun into the fast running water.

The man nodded in satisfaction. "Good, now back off...I'm going to take your friend as insurance. You, I'll take your gun now."

"Get it yourself!" Tony knew he was antagonising his captor, but he couldn't stop.

More pressure was applied to the knife, and Tony flinched slightly as it pierced his skin. He could smell the man's stale breath as he spoke once more. "You throw the gun away, because if I have to get it I will use it to kill your friend over there."

"No! Don't...I'll do it."

"Nice and easy...keep your fingers away from the trigger."

Tony gritted his teeth, and using his thumb and forefinger he removed the Sig from its holster and threw it into the creek. The man grunted and started to drag Tony toward the small was desperately trying to figure out a way to stall this guy, maybe Gibbs would come looking for them, they'd been gone a while, or had they? Maybe it just seemed that way.

"You could take us both, two bargaining chips instead of one."

"Nah; two's just double trouble…me and…what's your name?"

"DiNozzo, you son of a…" Tony felt the pressure of the metal against his neck, and he saw the plea in Tim's eyes…keep quiet, don't antagonise him.

"Me and DiNozzo, we'll do fine, come on."

"Wait." Tim couldn't let him make a move. "I'm McGee, Tim McGee, what's your name?"

"Guess you'll know it soon enough – Nathan Byard, that's enough small talk, move DiNozzo, my car's that way."

He pushed Tony toward the small footbridge over the creek, then hesitated. He turned again to Tim. "Get out your handcuffs, nice and slow; good; now put them on…don't want you getting any ideas."

Tim snapped on the cuffs and Byard gave a brief smile, Tim could see a trickle of blood running down Tony's neck...this guy wasn't kidding.

"Listen…Nathan; why don't we talk about this, let me call my boss, maybe we could make a deal."

Tony almost smiled at that, Tim knew as well as he did that Gibbs didn't make deals, but he appreciated Tim trying to delay the inevitable, especially as it was pretty much Tony's own fault that they were in this mess, next time…if there was a next time, he'd wait for back-up. Byard didn't miss a beat; he kept walking, forcing Tony closer to the bridge. Tim felt powerless, he didn't have time to try and reach his phone, and Tony was being dragged away by a cold blooded killer; he couldn't let this happen, there must be something he could do…then he saw an opening…

A stumble, that's all it was - a momentary stumble, yet it sent the lives of two NCIS agents spiralling out of control…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter One**

The ground was wet and slippery, and with Byard holding him so close Tony's feet had become entangled with his captor's, he'd gone down in a heap, and lay panting on the ground, the wind knocked out of him. Byard lunged toward Tony, knife in hand; Tim took a deep breath and charged at Byard, his only thought to make a barrier between Tony and the knife. Tim had the brief satisfaction of sending his assailant crashing to the ground, but he had no time to savour the moment; with his control restricted by the handcuffs Tim was unable to halt his momentum, and he was bracing himself for the fall, and maybe a dowsing in the creek, when his back exploded in white hot pain…Byard hadn't dropped the knife, enraged by this unexpected attack, he plunged the blade deep into Tim's back.

Tim couldn't think; he couldn't react, there was nothing but searing pain and unstoppable motion; he didn't even have the breath to scream…

Tony tried to get to his feet, he'd had the wind knocked out of him when he fell, but he was free…Byard had let go and now Tony could get to his own knife. Finally upright after struggling to get a foothold in the mud, Tony steadied himself and waited as Byard raced toward him, knife raised and his face twisted in fury. Tony called out breathlessly.

"Stop right there!"

Byard was beyond listening to reason, his escape plan had been thwarted and these men were going to pay, one down, one to go; he lunged forward. Tony had seen that look often enough to know there was only one way to stop him. As Byard pulled back his arm to strike, Tony thrust his knife into Byard's chest, he dropped like a stone; the knife finally falling from his fingers. Tony checked for a pulse...nothing; finally with time to catch his breath, he felt the warmth on his own neck and tentatively reached up his hand.

"Aw man, I'm bleeding, and this is a new shirt…Tim? Tim!"

Where was he? Tony couldn't see him, but he should be here…

Tony ran to the bridge, Tim had to be here somewhere, what had happened while he was sprawled out in the mud? Then his eyes opened wide as he saw it, a dark red stain in the water.

"Oh no Tim…Tim!"

He ran headlong beside the creek, repeating over and over. "No, no, no…." It was like a mantra, a prayer; maybe if he said it often enough it would make it so…Tim would be sitting on the grass ready to tear him a new one for being so stubborn about calling for backup. But he wasn't there; Tony lost his footing and almost slipped into the water...Still Creek it was called, it was anything but still right now…after weeks of above average rainfall the creek was swollen and fast running, too shallow for swimming, but not so shallow that a man couldn't drown…especially a man who was hurt…

Tim had tried so hard to keep breathing, the water kept filling his mouth, he couldn't lift his head…it was so heavy, and his back…it was on fire…how could that be when he was almost submerged in cold water? He had tried to turn over, to get onto his back, get his face out of the water…but with his hands cuffed together there was no way he could turn…he was face down in the water, all he could do was fight with everything he had to take a breath…just one more, if he could hold out until Tony came…what if Tony was hurt…if Byard got him too…he swallowed another mouthful of creek water…his head was heavier now, and the water was roaring in his ears…at least the pain was fading…he could concentrate on breathing, he knew he had to breathe…one more attempt to move his head, to stay alive…surely he could do it one more time…

"Tim!"

At last, Tony could see him, but there was no joy in the discovery. Tim was lying face down in the water as he was carried along by the undercurrent. The red stain was gone, and Tony didn't want to process what that could mean right now, he knew he had to get Tim out of the water.

Tony eased himself into the creek, it wasn't deep, but it was cold…He grabbed hold of Tim's shoulder, and tried to turn him over, to see if he was breathing, his hand touched metal, and he suddenly remembered, Tim was in handcuffs…there was no way he could have helped himself.

Tony strengthened his grip, it was up to him; he had to get Tim out of here. He pulled the inanimate body toward the bank, not daring to look too closely at Tim's face. He had to believe that Tim was still alive…He used every ounce of his strength to push Tim out of the water and on to dry ground. He pulled himself out and quickly dragged Tim away from the sloping bank; he dropped to his knees and felt for a pulse he knew he wasn't going to find...he put his cheek close to Tim's mouth, Tim wasn't breathing…Tony finally summoned up the courage to look at Tim's face.

One look at his blue lips and Tony knew what he had to do…no jokes about kissing this time, he tilted Tim's head back and took in a deep breath, he pinched Tim's nose, then covered his mouth with his own, and exhaled - another breath, then without conscious thought he started chest compressions.

They'd done this so many times on that stupid dummy back at NCIS, Tony counting out as Tim took his turn, then Tim doing the same for him…never in his worst nightmares could Tony have imagined that one day he would be doing this for Tim; trying to force some life into his lifeless body.

"Come on Tim, breathe."

He tasted salt…was he crying? No time for that, he had to keep working, keep Tim's heart beating.

"Tony! McGee!"

It was Ziva, Tony could hear her, but he couldn't spare the breath to answer, two more breaths, then compressions. Then he heard Gibbs' voice.

"Ziva, go get Ducky!" Gibbs dropped to his knees beside Tim, fumbled for his phone and quickly called for an ambulance. He reached out toward Tim.

"Tony, let me help…"

Tony shook his head. "I have to…Boss…I think…he's...dead…"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Two**

"He's not dead." Gibbs didn't even realise he's spoken aloud until he saw the others staring at him. Ducky tightened his grip on Abby's hand.

"That's what I told you, isn't it my dear? Timothy has held out this long, he's not going to give up now. Jimmy knows the ER Resident, he's going to have a word with her and see if he can get some detail on Timothy's condition…."

Abby found her voice at last. "Ziva said...she said Tim wasn't breathing…"

"That is true Abigail, but Tony and Jimmy, they did CPR, they never gave up on him."

Ducky knew he would never forget the scene that had greeted him as he followed Ziva through the trees, there was just enough light to see an exhausted Tony giving everything he had to prevent his friend from dying. Gibbs was trying to get Tony to rest.

"Let me take over."

"No, this is my job, I have to do this."

Ducky tried to understand what he was seeing as Gibbs reached into his pocket, took out his keys and unlocked the handcuffs around Tim's wrists…handcuffs…what on earth had happened here?

"Tony, we saw the dead guy back there…"

"Should have called Boss…he said we should, but I said no…"

Ducky fell to his knees beside Tim, checked for any signs of life and shivered as he felt the cold skin against his own warm hand. "Anthony, you should…."

Tony ignored him and continued his metronomic compressions. Jimmy knelt beside him and after a moment of stunned disbelief whispered. "Tony, I'll take over."

"No! Why won't you all leave me alone? I have to do this."

"You're getting tired, you don't want something bad to happen because you didn't work hard enough, do you?"

Tony looked at Jimmy with stricken eyes. He knew Jimmy was right, his arms felt like rubber, but he didn't want to let Tim down, not again.

Jimmy took up his position right beside Tony and as Tony raised his hands from the latest series of compressions Jimmy placed his own mouth over Tim's and gave two breaths, he then placed his hands on Tim's chest and took over the rhythm.

Ducky had been so proud of his assistant but there was no time to show it. They had to keep working on Tim, keep hoping that what they were doing was enough to keep the life giving oxygen getting to Tim's brain. Under Ducky's instruction they had cut off Tim's wet clothes and after another moment of stunned shock when they saw the stab wound in his back they had wrapped him in blankets, all the while Jimmy and Tony took turns to keep up the CPR. Gibbs and Ducky had tried to keep some pressure on the wound, but it was difficult when the priority was to maintain the chest compressions.

Ziva had gone back to the parking lot to await the ambulance, and to Ducky's ears there had never been a more welcome sound than the harsh sirens piercing the evening air.

He glanced at the clock, that had been almost three hours ago, and still they had no details on Tim's condition. Ducky was worried about Tony, he had barely said a word since Tim had been strapped on the gurney and the ambulance had pulled out of the parking lot.

They had stood in silence until they could no longer hear the sirens. Jimmy was shaking, and it wasn't with cold. "Do you think we did enough?"

Ducky tugged gently on Jimmy's arm. "We should get you somewhere warm, you too Tony, you must be exhausted. Oh Tony! Your clothes, we have to get you out of those wet things."

"Not here…the hospital, I have to get to the hospital. Boss, I can't stay here…"

"We're not going to Tony; I'll have another team process the scene. Ziva, get him back to the truck, I'll make the call."

Like an automaton Tony followed Ziva, he wasn't thinking, wasn't really functioning, his head was filled with the sounds and images of a friend dying…and it was on him…

"Tony, you are hurt!" Ziva had only just noticed the dark stain on Tony's neck.

"It's nothing."

Ziva stopped briefly and shone her flashlight on Tony's face. "It is definitely something, you may need stitches…" She reached up in an attempt to move his collar and get a better look, but Tony brushed her hand away.

"Why won't anyone listen to me? I said it's nothing…did you see him Ziva? Did you see what I did to Tim? And you think I care about a scratch, I've been trying to get him to breathe, to keep his heart beating…to stop him dying…nothing else matters."

Coming up behind them, Ducky and Jimmy had heard Tony's anguished outburst, oh yes, thought Ducky…the sooner they all got to the hospital the better it would be.

Except it hadn't been better, because they had to face Abby and her tearful, breathless questions; what could they tell her? That Tim hadn't taken a breath on his own since Tony dragged him out of the creek, that watching his body arch as the electric shocks from the defibrillator coursed through his body had been almost as painful as having it happen to themselves, that when the full beams of their flashlights focussed on Tim he hadn't looked so much like a man as a ghostly apparition…They had told her none of that, but she knew…they all knew each other too well to hide the important things…

Abby held tighter to Ducky's hand. "Why isn't Jimmy back yet? I'm scared Ducky."

Ducky had no words for her, because he was worried too, so he simply held her closer and offered up another silent prayer. He was startled out of his reverie by the opening of the door; Jimmy slowly made his way toward them.

"Sorry I took so long, I had to wait until Joanne was on her break." He tried not to look at Gibbs, he always got tongue-tied in front of him, and what he had to say was too important to mess up. "McG…Tim, he's in surgery; it took a while to get him stabilized. When they got a good sinus rhythm…heartbeat…the knife wound started bleeding again, it had stopped for a while when…when he was in the water, and the cold…I'm sorry, I wanted to do this right."

Gibbs walked over to him and put a protective arm around his shoulders. "You're doing great Jimmy, take all the time you need."

Jimmy almost took a step back in shock, Gibbs wasn't a tactile person, not like Abby, he must be hurting if he had let his guard down this much. He nodded his thanks and continued. "The stab wound lacerated his liver, that caused internal bleeding…you know the strangest thing is, the drowning…near drowning, that probably saved his life…he could have bled out at the scene. Oh, that's tactless…foot in mouth Palmer strikes again…He didn't though, that's what matters, and they started a transfusion right away, got him on a ventilator. Now he's having surgery…Joanne says he's got a fighting chance, you hear that Tony…because of you. If you hadn't got him out of the water and started CPR right away, we'd have lost him."

Tony didn't move, he'd only registered one thing, Tim was still alive…"When can we see him?"

"Anthony, did you hear what Jimmy said? Timothy is in surgery, we have to wait a little longer…"

"I can't wait, I have to see him…what if they're lying to us? What if he's…"

Gibbs was at Tony's side in two paces. "Tony! Calm down…no one's lying to us, come with me, I need coffee, and you need to get out of here."

They had returned with fresh drinks for everyone, and Tony seemed to have regained a little of his composure although they could all see his hands were still shaking.

The relentless clock had ticked round another hour when the door opened again and a tall dark haired man entered the waiting room. "I'm Doctor Grantham; I've been working on Agent McGee. Joanne Merill tells me he has no family, is that right?"

Gibbs nodded. "They were killed a few years back; we're all the family he has now."

"In that case, I'll give you the good news. He's come through the surgery, although he's not out of the woods by a long way, and until he wakes up we won't be able to assess him fully, but I think we can be quietly optimistic. We're getting him set up in the ICU and when he's ready you can go see him for a few minutes."

"Is he breathing unaided Doctor?" Ducky knew how important that was following a near drowning experience.

Doctor Grantham shook his head. "Not yet, like I said, he's not out of the woods…his condition is critical at this time and I don't want to take any chances that he may relapse, so we've got him on a ventilator as a precaution. You all did great work out in the field; I don't have to tell you those first minutes after rescue are vital, without you he wouldn't have made it as far as the hospital."

Tony was raising himself from his chair, but Gibbs put a restraining hand on his arm. "Not now Tony, when the doctor gives the word."

"But I have to see him Boss, you don't understand, I have to tell him…"

"I know Tony, there'll be time enough later."

Truth was Gibbs wanted to know exactly what had happened when Tony and Tim had strayed away from the crime scene, but he could wait, he was getting good at that…This time the waiting wasn't too long, and they were directed to the ICU…

How does someone ever prepare themselves to see a person they care for in this condition? The thought came unbidden into Ziva's mind as she stood with the others, almost mesmerised by the overwhelming sights and sounds of a state of the art ICU facility, by the wraith lying too still on the pristine sheets…the bruises forming on his chest, the dressing on his wound, the IVs and monitors, too many, there were too many tubes…this was wrong…How could they be optimistic when McGee looked so frail?

Ducky had taken a few minutes to take a good look at Tim, to check the monitors and IV lines, only then did he allow himself a glance at the other occupants of the room. "I know you will find it hard to believe Doctor Grantham's words, but Timothy is doing as well as we have any right to expect, given what he has been through."

Tony had barely moved into the room, he stood just inside the doorway, trying to get his breathing under control, to summon up the courage to face what he had done. Abby was already sitting beside the bed, her hand resting gently on Tim's arm, she was talking to him, Tony could see that, but he couldn't make out the words…maybe she was whispering, he didn't seem able to focus…

"Doctor Mallard said you should be admitted, Tony…do you hear me?" Jimmy had seen Tony sway and had managed to grab him before he hit the ground.

"I hear you…don't want to be admitted, I want to stay here…I have to stay here, don't you understand?"

Ducky and Gibbs exchanged a knowing glance, and Gibbs whispered a few words to Abby, she was about to protest when she saw the expression on Tony's face. With a quick nod, she relinquished her chair, kissed Tim's forehead and beckoned Tony to take her place.

"You sit here Tony before you fall down. Gibbs says we should all go home and get some rest, come back fresh tomorrow, but I guess you'll be staying here."

The faintest hint of a smile twitched at Tony's lips. "You guess right. Boss, I can't go home, not tonight."

"I know Tony, but I'm only doing this on condition you get some real sleep in the morning when we take over. We clear?"

"Clear…Boss, thanks…"

One by one they bid Tim goodnight, and eventually Tony was alone with his friend…and the machines…he tried so hard to stay awake, but the exertions of the day caught up with him, and he fell into a restless slumber, alert to any change in the sounds around him…he woke with a start…that was an alarm…what was happening?

"No…You are not dying today, you hear me Tim? Not on my watch…"

He was pushed aside as the medical team answered the alarm call, and yet again, all he could do was watch and wait…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Three**

The hot water from the shower cascaded over him, Tony felt better now, refreshed after a few hours sleep in his own bed. Gibbs had been true to his word and sent him home from the hospital.. Abby had taken his place at Tim's side, and Tony knew the others would be taking turns when work allowed.

He'd come home; kicked off his shoes and fallen onto his bed. Sleep had come instantly, and he awoke in exactly the same position six hours later. He was still wearing the scrubs Jimmy had borrowed for him, he felt dirty and his mouth was bone dry. His first instinct was to telephone the hospital, but Gibbs had told him he would call if there was any news.

So Tony headed for the bathroom, after brushing his teeth and shaving, he'd hit the shower and started to feel almost human again. He towelled himself dry and got dressed quickly; it was then that he noticed the bag of wet clothes at the foot of his bed. He must have thrown it there this morning when he got in…Tony picked it up, his NCIS jacket and his pants would have to go to the cleaner's, the shirt…he could get it cleaned, they'd probably be able to remove the blood-stain; but he knew he would never want to wear that shirt again, too many bad memories. Tony went into the kitchen and threw the shirt in the trash…

Memories…like the alarm sounding and being told to wait outside Tim's room while the medics did their job.

He'd been leaning against the wall, how much longer? They'd told him to wait outside while they worked on Tim, and the waiting was driving him crazy…He shouldn't have fallen asleep, what was the point of sitting with Tim if he couldn't even keep his eyes open?

The door had opened and a nurse walked briskly toward him. "Excuse me, is your name Tony?"

"Yes…"

She gave a quick smile. "Good, he's asking for you, come with me."

Asking for him? Tim was awake…Tony hurried into the room; Tim's eyes were indeed open, and they were fixed on the door, as soon as he saw Tony, he slumped back onto his pillows.

"You see Agent McGee; I told you he was fine." Doctor Solanki beckoned Tony closer to the bed.

"Your friend here was worried that you had been hurt, he's been fighting the ventilator, that's why the alarm sounded." The doctor leaned closer to Tim. "You'll have a few minutes, then the pain meds will kick in, don't fight them, you should be sleeping. Don't let him exert himself, and he really shouldn't be talking, he needs rest."

"You got it Doc." Tony waited until the others had left the room. "Tim, you have got to stop scaring me like that, when I heard the alarm and the medics came rushing in…"

Sleepy green eyes focussed on Tony, and Tim's breathing hitched a little when he saw the dressing on Tony's neck. He tried to lift his hand to point, but his fingers seemed so heavy…Tony spotted the gesture, and the glance. "This…it's nothing, I've had worse shaving…Tim, the doctor's right, you should sleep. You don't have to worry about a thing, just get well…"

Now that he had seen Tony with his own eyes, and seen that he was okay, Tim's energy seemed to drain from him, he was tired, and he hurt…all over…but most of all, he was tired…

Tony took his place in the chair again, and gave a deep sigh of relief. He had been convinced that Tim had been having some kind of crisis; that he would have to call Gibbs and the others, tell them…tell them what? That he'd been a stupid pig-headed fool; that he'd ridden rough-shod over the perfectly sensible request from his partner to wait for backup, and because of that…Tony leaned back and this time he hadn't closed his eyes. Tim was off the ventilator, he was getting oxygen through a nasal canula, but he still looked too pale, Tony smiled…he often teased Tim about how pale he looked, but compared to how he looked right now his usual skin tone was a healthy tan.

There were scratches and bruises on his arms, Tony hadn't noticed them before, Tim must have got them as he was being carried along in the water. Tony saw the dark bruises encircling Tim's wrists and couldn't suppress a shiver as he remembered the handcuffs; Tim must have struggled so hard, trying to stay alive. Then he saw the large bruise forming on Tim's chest…Tony looked down at his own hands, he'd done that, thirty beats…over and over, and he'd hurt Tim even more…

"Tim, I'm so sorry…I'll make it up to you, I promise."

The room was much quieter now, without the hissing of the ventilator, and Tony sat for another hour, content to watch Tim sleeping. Then the others had arrived, calling in at the hospital on their way to work; and Gibbs had ordered him home. Tony didn't want to go, but he'd made a promise, and he knew Gibbs would hold him to it. But there was one thing to do before he left. Tim's doctor wanted to talk with them all, give them an update on his progress, and there was no way Tony was leaving before he heard what the doctor had to say.

Doctor Solanki hadn't pulled any punches, he knew how easy it was for a near drowning victim to relapse, and he wanted to be sure that Tim's friends knew how grave the situation remained.

"Tim is off the ventilator because he was struggling against it, and there was a risk that he could cause further damage, it turned out he was worried about his friend, but there is often a risk with near drowning victims that they feel as if they are choking…and obviously that causes panic and distress which further hampers recovery."

"But Timothy is breathing unaided now, without further problems?"

"He is Doctor Mallard, as to further problems, you know as well as I that I can't make any promises at this stage. Don't forget that it isn't simply the submersion we have to worry about; Tim lost a lot of blood, and the ferocity of the attack fractured one of his ribs, which caused the liver laceration, that injury alone will take a long time to heal."

They had sat together, almost silent as Doctor Solanki outlined the serious problems that still lay ahead for their friend, there was just the occasional quiet question from Ducky. As he had driven home Tony's head had been spinning with medical jargon, IV antibiotics, IV nutrition, peak expiratory flow rate, haemoglobin levels, haematocrit…

That had been eight hours ago, and now Tony was heading back up to the ICU, ready to take over and be there if Tim woke up.

"Hey Ducky, how's he doing?"

"About the same Anthony, but that's good…his vital signs are all holding steady, and so far there are no signs of infection. How are you now, you look a little better I must say."

"Feel it Ducky, guess Gibbs was right about the sleep."

Ducky smiled. "Jethro very often is right, though he doesn't always follow his own advice." He gave Tim's hand a gentle squeeze. "I'll leave you in Tony's capable hands Timothy, good night. Do you have everything you need Tony?"

"I'm good Ducky, Gibbs is coming back later, and if I need a drink I can always get something from the machine down the hall. You go home; I can definitely recommend sleeping in your own bed."

Ducky was gone, and Tony was taking a good look at the monitors, although why was anyone's guess, after all he didn't have a clue what they were measuring, but everything looked…settled, and he figured that had to be a good thing. Then a couple of the lines started to look different, and he heard a quiet groan. Tim's face was contorted in pain.

"T…Tony…"

Tim's voice was barely audible, but Tony did as he'd been told, if Tim woke up, press the call button. "Hey Tim, you're supposed to be sleeping."

Tim slowly turned his head toward Tony. "You…okay?"

"Told you yesterday, I'm fine…now stop talking or Ducky will have my hide, he said you have to rest. Is the pain bad?"

Another grimace as the heat intensified. "Hurts…"

Tony glanced anxiously at the door, where were they? "Someone will be here soon Tim; here, squeeze my hand if it helps."

Tony took hold of Tim's hand, another spasm of pain hit him and Tim held on tight. "I got you Tim, don't let go…"

Through clenched teeth Tim gasped a single word. "Byard ?"

Tony smiled grimly. "He's dead."

"You?"

"Yeah, and if I'd known what he'd done to you I wouldn't have made it so easy on him."

A nurse bustled into the room and checked Tim's IV. Tony felt the pressure on his hand again, and Tim's eyes focussed on him. "Make…it stop…please…"

"I wish I could Tim…"

The nurse leaned over Tim's bed and gave him a reassuring smile. "Breathe through it Tim, just another second or two and the meds will start working."

Sure enough almost as she finished speaking Tony felt Tim's grip relax, he was asleep once more.

Tony glanced away from Tim for a moment, and asked the nurse. "Can't you do anything to fix that?"

"I know it's distressing to see him like this, but there will be times when the pain medication wears off, and the new dose hasn't kicked in. That's when Tim will feel the full force of the injuries he's suffered. Given time, as his body starts to heal, this will happen less and less."

"I hope you're right, I hate to see him hurting so much."

She smiled once more and made a notation on Tim's chart. "He should sleep for a few more hours; if he shows any signs of distress, I'm just a call away. It may be hard for you to see it, but he is doing better you know."

The nurse was gone and Tony gave a slight shake of his head as he continued his vigil. Better…then how come he looked so sick?

"You're going to make it Tim, you hear me…that's an order from your Senior Field Agent; and when you're out of here I'm going to help you every step of the way. Whatever you want, whenever you need it, you and me, we'll get through this together."

Tony settled back to watch Tim, to be ready if he woke again, if he needed a reassuring hand…he couldn't get out of his head what Doctor Solanki had said earlier that morning, it was one of the few phrases he'd understood completely, one that contained no medical terminology; just the hard truth of what Tim was facing. The doctor had told them. 'Waking up is easy; it's the recovery that's hard.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Four**

Tim didn't stir for the rest of the night; Tony watched every breath and waited for any sign that Tim was in pain, but he was still and seemingly untroubled in his drug induced sleep.

"They got you on the _really_ good stuff now Tim." His whisper was as quiet as he could make it, he didn't want to run the risk of disturbing Tim, but he felt the need to speak his thoughts aloud, even if no one was listening. "You feel any pain, you tell me, understand?"

"He can't hear you Tony; Doc says he'll be out for a few more hours."

Tony shook his head briefly; sometimes he wished Gibbs could step out of stealth mode. "I know Boss; he should sleep; when he came round last night, that was bad, he was hurting so much…I don't want to see like than…never again."

Gibbs put his hand on Tony's shoulder. "Doctor Solanki warned us about the pain Tony, remember? He said it could take time to get the meds right."

"Yeah, I heard him…didn't make it any easier watching Tim last night."

"Guess it wouldn't…go home Tony, I'll take over."

Tony wanted to stay, to be here if Tim woke up in pain; but he could use some sleep, and if he had to leave Tim, he couldn't leave him in better hands. "You'll call me if he wakes up?"

"Only if I think you need to be here; Tim's not the only one around here who should be sleeping – go."

"I'm going; I'll be back this afternoon."

"No Tony, I see you here before 19.00, I'm kicking you right back home. Come on Tony, you know Abby wants to spend some time with Tim; Ziva and Ducky too…we got Tim covered."

Reluctantly Tony got up from his chair, he gripped Tim's hand. "See you later kiddo, take it easy."

Gibbs ushered Tony out the door. "He's doing good Tony, remember that."

An hour later Gibbs was reminding himself what he'd said to Tony. Tim looked so much better than he had when Tony and Jimmy were fighting to keep him alive; but he didn't look good, not by a long way. He heard the door open.

"Er…Agent Gibbs…is it okay for me to come in?"

Gibbs got up from the chair and ushered the young man toward the bed. "You don't have to ask Jimmy, you saved Tim's life, if anyone has a right to see him it's you."

Jimmy blushed to the roots of his hair. "Wasn't me, Tony did all the hard work."

"Not all."

Gibb watched as Jimmy checked the monitors and gave a brief smile. "Doctor Mallard said he was doing better, I just wanted to see for myself, oh…" The smile left Jimmy's face as he took a long look at Tim. "Look what I did…I never meant…Gibbs, I didn't mean to hurt him." Jimmy was staring at the dark bruise on Tim's chest.

"You kept his heart beating; you think Tim's going to care about a few bruises when he knows what you guys did for him?"

"I…I guess not, but…"

"But it still hurts to see him like this…"

"You too?"

"Oh yeah, he's one of my team Jimmy, and we almost lost him."

"Almost…that's the key word Gibbs, Tim's over the first hurdle, he survived the immersion and the surgery, every minute he's sleeping, he's healing. The trauma medicine here is first class, and I know he's going to have all the support he needs from you and the others. I'd say considering what he's been through, Tim's in a pretty good place right now." Jimmy could feel Gibbs staring at him, and he blushed again, but when he looked up Gibbs was smiling.

"Ducky's taught you well Jimmy. You heading in to work?"

"Yes, we're doing the Byard autopsy today…Is it wrong to say I'm glad he's dead?"

"Not in my book, he killed a Marine and tried to kill two of my people, death was the best thing he had coming to him."

"I wanted to help with the autopsy Tim, just so I could crack a few of Byard's ribs, but Ducky wouldn't let me."

"I should think not my dear. And you can rest assured; I was not gentle with my guest."

Abby and Ducky had come directly after work, and they had both been a little disappointed that Tim showed no signs of waking. Ducky tried to see the bright side as ever.

"At this early stage of his recovery, there will be a great deal of post-operative pain, not to mention Timothy's other injuries, I think this medicated sleep is probably best for him."

"I know, I miss talking with him…Timmy, he's always been there for me, and I wanted to…Ducky, did you see?"

"Yes, now don't rush things…"

Tim could hear voices; close by…he turned his head to the noise, who was here? Where was here? He couldn't remember…he should know…his hand reached out, Tony…Tony would help him…

"T…Tony…"

Abby held onto Tim's hand. "Tony's not here Tim, he'll be here later, it's me Abby, and Ducky."

Tim's eyes seemed fevered, and he was struggling to focus. "No, Tony…he was…he was hurt…I saw…where is he? You have to tell me!"

"Abby, see if you can find Doctor Solanki, hurry dear." With a despairing look at Tim, Abby ran from the room. Ducky was worried about Tim too, but they didn't need Abby going into meltdown, they needed calm. "Timothy, please listen to me, you are in the hospital, Tony if perfectly fine, he's at home right now, but I can call him if you would like."

"He fell…there was blood…Ducky…I can't remember…"

Ducky held Tim's hand. "Have I ever lied to you?" A slight shake of the head. "Then believe me now, you must calm down, your injuries, ah, here's the doctor now. Look at me young man, I'm going to call Tony, do you hear me?"

"Really?" Tim was so confused, Ducky said he was injured, he couldn't feel anything…shouldn't there be pain? Another doctor…did he know this one? Why was everything so mixed-up?

"Stay calm please Timothy, I'll be right back." Ducky whispered a few words to Doctor Solanki and headed into the waiting room to call Tony, Abby was at his heels.

"Ducky, what just happened in there? I thought he'd be better."

"He's confused; the painkillers, the trauma, there's no magic spell to make him 'better', remember what we agreed earlier?"

Abby nodded slowly. "Give him time. I know I should be patient; is it so wrong to want him back?"

"My dear girl, we all want that. Let me call Tony, and then I'm sure we'll be able to go back in to see Timothy."

Tim was sleeping again, but judging by the restless twitching of his fingers and his irregular breathing, it wasn't a deep sleep.

"As you can see, Tim's not allowing himself to relax completely, he's concerned for Tony's well-being, and it took a lot of persuasion and the threat of heavier sedation for him to gain any kind of control."

"Tony is on the way, when Timothy next wakes, I have a feeling that he won't have to worry too much about Tony's whereabouts."

Ducky guided Abby back to her seat beside the bed, she glanced up at Doctor Solanki. "Could I hold his hand? Maybe knowing we're back will help him to settle."

"I think that's a very good idea. Doctor Mallard, do you have a minute?"

They stepped outside and the doctor made a brief amendment on Tim's notes, then turned his full attention to Ducky.

"This is a worrying development; I had been expecting some anxiety issues, re-living the near drowning is a common occurrence in survivors as you know, and they are most vulnerable when they wake from a deep sleep. But Tim's disorientation and his fears for his friend exacerbate the problem; you saw his agitation earlier, if he pulls out his IVs or the catheter, tears his stitches…You don't need me to tell you that could set back his recovery dramatically."

"I'm sure he will be calmer when Anthony arrives. They were together you see, when Timothy was...when Byard stabbed him. The way I understand it, Tony had fallen to the ground and Tim tried to prevent Byard attacking him, then Byard stabbed Tim and he fell into the water."

Doctor Solanki stared at Ducky with new understanding. "So Tim's last sight of his friend was of him lying on the ground, possibly injured."

"Precisely, and when Tony wasn't here when he came round…the panic set in."

"Then the sooner Agent DiNozzo gets here, the happier I'll be."

"Tony, you should sit down, the doctor said McGee could sleep for hours…"

"I hope he does Ziva, Ducky says it's the best thing for him right now."

She stilled his pacing with a gentle touch on his arm. "And you, do you not need rest too?"

Tony shrugged his shoulders. "Wasn't me who nearly died, and I've had all the rest I need today. When Tim opens his eyes again, first thing he's going to see is Very Special Agent DiNozzo."

Ziva smiled, this was more like the Tony she knew. "Very well, and you are sure you do not wish me to stay?"

"Thanks Ziva, but like you said he could be sleeping for hours, and unlike me, you have to go in to work tomorrow."

"Then I wish you good night." She leaned in to give Tim a quick kiss on the forehead. "Good night McGee, I hope to be able to speak to you tomorrow."

"Just you and me again; you know Tim, you're not the most exciting company right now, maybe I should bring in some DVDs…"

"Or…a book…"

"Hey! That's sneaky, I thought you were sleeping."

Tony stood up and moved close to the bed so that Tim would be able to see him, to see that he wasn't hurt. He watched closely as Tim's eyes opened fully, and he tried to focus.

"You really…okay?"

"A1 Tim, told you before, you don't have to worry about me."

"I thought…when you fell…"

Tony swallowed hard before he trusted his own voice. "You know me, Special Agent Indestructible, always cheating death."

Tim looked directly at Tony and gave a brief smile. "Not what…you said…Chimera…"

"There was bad mojo in that ship, and rats…did I ever tell you how much I hate rats?"

"A few times…Tony…I'm glad you're…here…" Tim's eyelids fluttered closed, and his breathing settled back into a regular rhythm.

"Only because of you Tim." He would tell him one day, let him know he understood the debt that was owed; but right now Tim just needed to know he was close. Tony could paste on the super confident indestructible Agent DiNozzo face for as long as necessary. If Tim wanted him to be okay he would be, and just so long as he didn't close his eyes and re-live those seemingly endless minutes after he dragged Tim out of the water he was okay. Problem was, Tony had a feeling that those images were not going away, not for a long time.


	6. Chapter 6

Gibbs hurried along the corridor to Tim's room; he'd have to make it a flying visit this morning, Vance had called a meeting of all Team Leaders for 08.00. Almost by instinct Gibbs turned toward the ICU, then turned on his heels and smiled to himself. Tim wasn't in the ICU any longer, he'd been moved to the High Dependency Unit; even though he was still pretty sick Gibbs and the others were relieved to see their team mate surrounded by fewer machines, and looking a little more like the Tim McGee they all wanted to see again.

"Hey Boss."

"Hey yourself, how are you doing this morning Tim?"

"Good I think, hard to tell with the meds…everything's kind of…disconnected I guess."

"I know how that feels, almost like your body belongs to someone else."

"Exactly…" Tim gasped slightly as a sharp spasm of pain caught him unawares.

"Tim, you okay? Should I call someone?"

"No…it's…I'm okay."

"You're a terrible liar McGee; don't you have one of those doodads for the pain?"

Tim raised his hand slightly and Gibbs could see he was clutching the device that controlled his pain medication.

"I'm trying not to use it too much…don't want to rely on it…you read about people…they get addicted to pain meds."

"For the love of…Tim, do you have to over think everything? It's only been five days since you were stabbed and had major surgery; the last thing you have to think about is being addicted to pain meds. If you're in too much pain, you can't heal…give yourself some time, heck you're not even on a regular ward!"

"One step closer...they may even let me use the bathroom some day."

"Yeah...dignity goes right out the window when you're hurting so bad Tim, just give yourself more time, and listen to your doctor, he's a good man."

"On it Boss."

"See that you are, hey – where's your shadow?"

Tim gave a slightly crooked smile. "Tony's gone for breakfast..."

"And now he's back, hey Boss, I'd offer you some coffee but I guess you already have one."

Gibbs raised his cup. "Always Tony; you coming in today?"

"If you need me." Gibbs could read the unspoken desire in Tony's voice.

"I'll call after the meeting Tony."

Gibbs stood at the door. "You remember what I said Tim; and don't let Tony choose all the movies."

"Hey, not fair Boss! He's only had the TV one day; we haven't had time to watch anything."

Gibbs headed for the door with a smile and Tony took his place beside the bed.

"Gibbs has a point Tim, now you have a TV we should think about the movies you want to see."

"Honestly Tony, I'm not awake long enough to watch a movie right through…you choose; but I'll have a list ready when I'm out of here." His eyelids drooped again as the meds kicked in.

Tony put down his coffee cup, got up from his chair and rested the back of his hand against Tim's forehead for a few seconds. He gave a brief smile of satisfaction; much better…There had been a few worrying hours yesterday when Tim's temperature had started to rise. There were fears that he was succumbing to an infection, and for a while it looked as if his move to the HDU would be delayed; but the IV antibiotics had done their job and Doctor Solanki had approved Tim's transfer.

Tony leaned back in the chair and took a long swig of his coffee. "Much more of this and I'll be out-drinking Gibbs."

He'd needed the caffeine to help him awake; there had been a few more fraught returns to consciousness for Tim; when he called out for Tony, reached blindly for his friend. And Tony had been there for him, each time whispering soothing words, encouraging Tim to open his eyes, to see for himself that Tony was doing fine. The last two days had been different; when Tim woke up, he was calm, aware of his surroundings; ready with a smile for whoever was sitting next to Tony, because Tony was always there, as he'd promised he would be…He knew that couldn't go on.

Doctor Solanki let him stay with Tim only because of the potential set back to his recovery that could be caused by Tim's extreme anxiety over the well being of his partner. Now…Tony sighed deeply, now they'd be kicking him out and only letting him come during visiting hours.

He knew he should see that as a positive step, as a sign that Tim was making good progress, Tony also knew that he should get back to work, the team was already a man light… "Question is Tim; can I trust you to keep out of trouble when I'm not around?"

The next time Tim's eyes fluttered open, there was just one person sitting beside his bed.

"Hi Timmy, hope you don't mind me stealing Tony's place? He had to go into NCIS, every available agent required for security detail…some big urgent conference…not important…well, it is important or they wouldn't want all the security but…what's so funny?"

Tim's gentle laughter ended on a sharp intake of breath as his injuries protested against the extra movement.. "Not funny…just you being you; it is good to see you Abs."

She reached out for his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. "That's just a filler-in, until I can give you a proper hug." Abby looked him over critically, and delivered her verdict. "You are looking much better Tim."

"Yeah, right." Tim looked down at the many livid bruises, the partially healed cuts and grazes.

Abby was quick to reassure him. "Really you do…I mean you're pretty colourful right now, but you're awake and talking and…oh Tim, when we saw you that first day…"

"No Abs, no more tears, we agreed, remember?"

She did remember; the very first time she had seen him awake and aware, she had broken down…he'd tried to wipe away her tears, and she'd cried even harder when she saw he didn't even have the strength to raise his hand. But he could do it now, and she smiled as his hand brushed her cheek.

"I'm doing okay Abs, still a long way to go, but it's time to stop looking back, thinking about what could have been; time to look ahead."


	7. Chapter 7

"Two months! Please tell me you're kidding."

"Ask around Tim. I'm not known for my sense of humour."

"But Doctor Solanki, you said I could go home in a few days."

"What I said was; if you continued at your current rate of progress and had someone who could look after you, then I would release you. I did not say you would be going back to work any time soon, and like I said, two months before you return to active duty is a best case scenario."

Tim slumped back in the bed, two months seemed like an eternity; what was he going to do with all that time?

"I warned you this would be a hard road Tim, you've come a long way already, but you have only just started out on your recovery. Tell me honestly, how do you feel right now?"

Tim took a moment to try and convince himself he felt fine, but his inherent honesty won through. "Exhausted."

"Quite, and so far today, what have you done?"

"Okay Doc, I get the message. It's just..."

"You want your life back; I do understand that Tim. But right now, your life has limits...two weeks ago your heart stopped, a machine was breathing for you, it doesn't get much worse than that. I want you to concentrate on how far you've come; you're getting round under your own steam."

"Slowly." Tim smiled a little, remembering how long it had taken him to get from the physical therapy suite back to his room.

"Well, slow but sure wins the race, and that has to be your way of life for some while longer. The stab wound is responding well, and I know it's been a torment trying not to scratch at all those scabs, but you managed to let them heal. Right now, your peak flow is still too low, you have to give your lungs more time to get back to normal; and I don't want you to underestimate how long your liver will take to fully recover; until it is one hundred percent healed the slightest blow could cause a haemorrhage."

"I know...and I do feel so much better, each day I can do more; you've all taken great care of me. I should be thanking all the staff here instead of whining about getting back to work."

Vikram Solanki shook his head as he completed Tim's chart. "All the thanks we need is to see you walk out that main entrance in a few days and not to have you back here except for scheduled appointments."

"I think I can work on that."

"Very good; you have another session with Glen this afternoon?"

"Yeah, he's working on a programme that I can build on when I get home."

"Then I'll let you get some rest and see you tomorrow."

Tim lay back against his pillows, he was physically exhausted, but his mind was still working overtime...He had been so overjoyed when the doctor finally allowed him to get out of bed and start some gentle physical therapy. He would never have believed the sheer joy that could come from looking at a hospital corridor, but it wasn't the ICU, or HDU, wasn't even a surgical ward…it was somewhere different, the next step to his release from the hospital.

Tony had been smiling the whole time he guided Tim to the fourth floor. "Here it is Tim, Physical Therapy." He leaned down to whisper. "You sure you're ready for this?"

Tim nodded vigorously. "And willing Tony, I'm going crazy lying around in bed, and I'm not sure I can take one more Anthony DiNozzo movie commentary." Tim grinned up at his friend. "What, no head slap Tony?"

"Fifteen…"

"Sorry?"

"That's fifteen head slaps I owe you, Gibbs warned me off smacking you while you were still in here, but don't think this situation is going to last forever."

"I sure hope not Tony, you being nice to me all the time, that's pretty scary stuff."

"Right on time Tim, let's not waste any time." Greg Udal, Tim's physical therapist, 6'3", shaven headed, 220lb of solid muscle was an imposing presence who seemed to tower above him as Tim looked up from his wheelchair. Greg was also a man who believed in starting as he meant to go on, and within minutes Tim was walking slowly on the walkway, holding on tightly to the bars on either side. Tony and Greg stood close by, ready to catch him if he looked like falling; but Tim was determined to get to the other end.

Greg was watching Tim's reactions "Three more Tim, you can do it."

Tim wasn't so sure, he'd only completed two lengths of the walk and already he could feel his legs starting to shake..

Tony winced each time he saw Tim take a deep shaky breath, this was too hard.

"Greg, do you think he should take a break?"

"What did I tell you yesterday Tony?"

"To mind my own business." Tony grinned as he recalled Greg warning him that he could only stay during Tim's sessions if he watched, helped when asked, but otherwise sat quietly.

Greg laughed aloud. "Not exactly, but yeah I guess that was the crux of it. Look Tony, I've been doing this for eleven years, I'm good at what I do, and I never push my clients beyond their limits. The easiest thing in the world would be to have Tim do nothing but gentle stretching, but he's been in bed over a week, you told me you were a Phys Ed major, you know what that was doing to his muscles, we have to start building muscle strength again, and we can't do that if he doesn't work…"

"I know, and I want you to show me how to help him when he gets out of here, but it's tough seeing him this way."

Greg nodded. "That's why I don't usually allow anyone to sit in on my sessions, every relative or friend would like to punch my lights out for putting their loved ones through this; he has to find his limits and then push past them…but only when I think he's ready, I won't hurt him any more Tony, I'm trying to help him heal."

"Hey guys…I may…be struggling…to breathe, but…I can still…hear."

"Then hear this Tim, two more, then Tony can take you back to your room. You're doing good Tim; this is hard work after what you've been through."

Lying here in his bed, four days on from that first re-introduction to the world of the vertical, Tim still found it hard to believe just how tough something as simple as walking had been. It was easier now, and he knew tomorrow would be easier still; Tim just wished…he shook his head impatiently, no point wishing – Greg was always telling him. "The only way to get better is to work harder."

So Tim worked harder, whenever the case load allowed Tony came and worked with him; and it was with Tony's support that Tim took his first steps outside. A short walk around the small hospital garden had been interrupted by a sudden shower of icy rain. Even with the rain beating against his face Tim was smiling, but the smile was wiped from his face by Tony's next words.

"Come on Tim, we have to go back inside. You know what the Doc said about keeping you warm."

"Just a little longer Tony, please."

Tony took hold of Tim's arm and guided him gently toward the door. "No way, you're shivering already; you were supposed to tell me if you felt cold."

"It's December in DC Tony, not exactly going to be tropical out here."

"Which is why we're going back inside. I'll bring in a warmer coat tomorrow and maybe, if it's dry we can walk a little further."

Tim gave in to the inevitable. "Okay Tony, and thanks, it was great to be outside again, even the rain felt good."

"Hope you remember that when we're out collecting evidence in some stinking alley with the rain pouring down the back of your neck."

Tim grinned. "Sounds pretty much like heaven to me Tony."

Another session with Greg had followed his foray into the outside world, and Tim was once again in his room waiting for a visit from Doctor Solanki. He glanced up as the door opened and was surprised and pleased to see Ducky walking in with his doctor.

"I won't keep you in suspense Tim, one more day in here for me to complete a battery of tests; and I'll sign your release papers."

"I'm guessing there's a but coming Doc." Tim was almost afraid to show any enthusiasm about getting out of the hospital.

"No buts Tim, you know I wanted you to go to a rehab centre, they offer the kind of care you will require for a while longer. However, I understand your team mates have come up with another solution."

Tim turned hopeful eyes to Ducky. "Are you sure about this?"

Ducky sat down in the chair beside Tim. "Absolutely certain; you missed Thanksgiving Chez Mallard, and I have no intention of letting you spend Christmas in a rehab facility, however excellent it may be. Jethro and Jimmy have helped me to prepare a bedroom for you on the ground floor, there's a bathroom on that level. Abby and Ziva have devised a rota to ensure you make all your follow-up appointments, Tony has already discovered some easy walks in the neighbourhood…I think we're all set Timothy. I would be honoured if you would agree to share my home."

Tim's eyes brightened with the tears that seemed to come easily these days, but his smile lit up the room. Ducky felt his own eyes watering a little. Thanksgiving had been a quiet affair, the team had gathered for lunch at Ducky's new home, and they had all given heartfelt thanks that their friend was still alive, but he had still been in the ICU, and the empty chair at the table served to remind them all how tenuous was their hold on life. Tim had held on and now he was ready for the next step.

"I…I know we'd talked about this, but I was afraid to think about it too much in case…you know, if it wasn't possible."

Ducky rested his hand on Tim's shoulder. "It's the very least we can do for a very good friend. Abby and Ziva will be here soon, so I will go and have a word with your nutritionist…it will be wonderful to have you home Timothy."

Tim waved Ducky on his way and suddenly remembered Doctor Solanki was still in the room. "I am so grateful to you, and your staff…but going home…it's what I've dreamed of every night."

The doctor smiled warmly. "I'd have been disappointed if you weren't champing at the bit to get out of here Tim, it's what I hope for with all my patients, just remember, you're coming to the end of phase one of your recovery, you still have a way to go."

"I know, and I'll do everything you say Doctor, You've done so much for me, I'm not going to undo all your good work now, I promise."


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm sure he didn't mean it Tony."

"Sounded serious to me, I was only trying to help."

Ducky went to the sideboard and poured two glasses of Scotch. He could sympathise with Tony, but there was another side to this.

It had all started over the dinner dishes of all things...

"Let me do it Ducky, it's about time I started pulling my weight round here." Tim levered himself carefully out of the chair, sudden movements were still likely to cause pain, but if he took things steady, he was okay.

Tony stood up quickly and picked up his own plate, he reached over for Tim's. "You sit down Tim, Greg worked you hard today, you must be tired."

"Why must I? You think I can lift weights in a gym, but I can't lift a plate?"

Tony put down the plate and held up his hands. "Hey, if it means so much to you, go ahead; I just don't want you to overdo things."

"How can I possibly overdo things when you won't let me do anything?" Tim winced a little, he shouldn't raise his voice, he knew that, but he was so tired of people doing everything for him, he grabbed his plate and turned toward the dishwasher.

"Now Timothy, that is hardly fair, you are doing so much more than I would have thought possible when you first came home; but Tony is right, you must take things easy for a little while longer."

"How much longer? I'm so sick of...of all this. I want to go out on my own, to take a shower without someone waiting outside in case I fall, to go shopping...I couldn't even get Christmas gifts for my friends...too tired to stay up 'til midnight on New Year's Eve. I hate it! All of it...Look at you Tony, you won't even go on a date because you think you have to spend every spare minute you have with me; well you're released from duty. You have a life Tony, go ahead and live it, just leave me alone."

"Tim..." Tony took a step forward, but Tim shook his head, turned away and stumbled to the door.

"I'm going to bed...sorry Ducky, for spoiling dinner...sorry..."

Ducky and Tony silently cleared away the dishes, Tony had wanted to follow Tim, he didn't want to leave things like this, but Ducky had stopped him and recommended they all talk again in the morning, after a good night's rest.

"Drink your whisky Tony, and don't worry; things will look better in the light of a new day. Despite what he may wish, Timothy still has a way to go before he can manage alone; but you must try to understand what all this is doing to him, not just physically. He has been entirely self-sufficient since he left high school. Try to imagine how difficult it has been for him to rely on others for every single thing...right down to using the bathroom."

Tony savoured the warming glow of the single malt and summoned up a smile. "He sure hated that; you're right Ducky, as ever. Maybe it's time I gave him a little more space."

"Perhaps Tony, let's see how things are tomorrow, shall we?"

Breathe in, hold it for a count of five; breathe out, hold it...just like Greg showed him...

"Tim! For the love of God, what are you doing out here? It's freezing." Tony had run downstairs as soon as he'd heard Tim's door open, followed by the hefty thud as the door to Ducky's small garden slammed shut.

"Just needed...air. I'm good Tony."

Tim was shaking from head to foot. "No you're not; you're not even wearing shoes, come back inside."

"I...can't...suffocating..." Tim tried a few more deep breaths, he was still too weak to pull away when Tony took his arm and led him into the warmth of the house. "Please Tony, let me be."

"Not going to happen Tim, I didn't drag you out of the water for you to freeze to death in Ducky's back yard."

"I should think not Anthony. I'll put the kettle on, take Timothy into the sitting room and get the quilt from his bed."

Tim shook his head. "No...too heavy...can't breathe..."

"There are blankets in the closet upstairs, get two – quickly Tony." Ducky sat Tim down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table."We'll make ourselves cosy right here."

Tim wrapped his arms around his chest, trying his best to control the tremors shaking his body. "I didn't mean...to wake you, or Tony...I...I think, I should go home."

"Only if I go with you Tim, someone has to stop you taking midnight strolls in sub-zero temperatures. You can't even remember shoes." Tony was smiling as he spoke, but he was worried too, what had driven Tim outside? He draped one blanket round Tim's shoulders and the other over his knees.

Tim gave a tired smile. "Thanks Tony...I'd forgotten about the cold, I just wanted air."

"Timothy, drink this, I know hot sweet tea is probably not to your taste, but it is what you need."

Very carefully Tim took the steaming mug from Ducky, his hands were still shaking, and he didn't want to spill any tea and make more mess for Ducky. He grimaced as he took a sip of the hot, sweet liquid, but it felt good as the warmth penetrated through the pervasive chill of his body. "It's good Ducky, thanks."

Ducky poured a cup for Tony and himself, minus the sugar. He pulled up a chair and sat beside Tim, a questioning look on his face. Tim took another drink, and a deep breath.

"I guess you want to know why I was out there."

"Good guess young man. You needed air you said..."

Tim nodded. "My own fault, I was so wound up when I went to bed, I am so sorry about earlier; I had no right, you've both done so much for me, you didn't deserve that."

"Perhaps not, but I think we all have things we should discuss about your future care, that's for another day...so Timothy, can you tell us what drove you from your bed?"

Tony grabbed a chair and sat so that he could look his friend in the eye. It had been too dark to get a good look at Tim outside, but in the bright lights of Ducky's kitchen he looked sicker than he had since he left the hospital. "Tim, what's wrong?"

Tim studied his mug intently. "Like I said, I couldn't sleep, tossed and turned for a while; the quilt...must have wrapped myself tight. I felt like I was suffocating, fighting for breath, and I remembered…the water..."

Tony and Ducky sat silently, this was the moment they always knew would come, but they had hoped Tim would be stronger before he had to deal with it.

"Tony was on the ground, and Byard…I thought he was going to kill T…Tony, so I ran, and he…I'd never felt pain like that, and I couldn't stop falling, down and down into the water…I knew what to do, we're prepared for this kind of thing, right? But with the handcuffs…"

He hesitated and took another sip of tea as he tried to put his jumbled recollections into coherent words.

"It was cold…I tried to breathe, I knew I had to keep breathing, but I couldn't get my face out of the water, it filled my mouth, I was choking…I tried so hard…there were rocks, cutting…then I wasn't cold…I couldn't feel…it was so quiet, no struggle, peace…until the hospital."

He raised his head and was surprised by the brightness he saw in Tony and Ducky's eyes.

"I'd forgotten…how could I forget?"

"Because you have had so much to deal with since that day; your body has been healing, your mind has been processing the pain, the changes in your life...it simply decided enough was enough."

Tim smiled weakly at Ducky. "Wish it had stayed that way."

"Do you Timothy, do you really?" Ducky waited as Tim took a few minutes to consider the question.

"Guess not, it would always be there, waiting to come out, best to get it in the open." Tim smiled a little wider. "All this because I shouted at you."

Tony leaned over and put his hand on Tim's shoulder, it was still now, the shivering had stopped at last. "I wouldn't exactly call that shouting Tim, not going to get you noticed on a Marine training ground."

"Not when Gibbs is around."

"Speaking of Jethro, he is coming to take you to physical therapy in the morning, so I suggest we all get back to bed. Do you think you can sleep now Timothy?"

"I am tired..."

"It's okay Tim, I'll get the quilt off the bed, you can use the blankets tonight."

"Thanks Tony." Tim stood up slowly. "I'll put the mugs in the dishwasher." He glanced at Tony.

"Hey, I'm not going to stop you." Tony handed over his mug and reached down to pick up the blanket that had fallen to the floor. Tim felt so bad, all Tony had done ever since Byard's attack had been for his benefit, and he'd thrown it back in Tony's face.

"I am sorry Tony; I was way out of line."

"Never apologise..."

"Sign of weakness I know, but in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly punching my weight right now."

"You soon will be Tim; before you know it we'll have you back in harness."


	9. Chapter 9

"Tony, I thought we'd been through all this; I can ride an elevator without supervision."

"I know you can, I'm not here to supervise, I'm here to say welcome back Tim. It is welcome back, right? Director Vance said you could work?"

Tim grinned. "Yep, desk duty only, but I get to escape from my apartment."

"That's great news Tim; come on kiddo, your desk awaits."

Tony put his arm round Tim's shoulders and led him toward the elevator. He'd had been on tenterhooks all morning waiting to hear whether Vance had approved Tim's return to duty. As the elevator doors opened and Tim stepped into the squad room, Tony allowed himself a small smile of satisfaction; it had been a long, hard road, but finally Tim was back where he belonged.

"McGee, it is wonderful to see you." Ziva was smiling broadly. "Everything is as you left it."

"Thanks Ziva, it's so good to be here." Tim walked slowly over to his desk, savouring the sights and sounds of the squad room. There had been times, even during the last few weeks, when he thought this day would never come. The carefully planned schedule of physical therapy had drained him more than he would have thought possible, and since that night at Ducky's when he had remembered for the first time his struggle to survive the bone-chilling water, he had been plagued by nightmares. Not every night, but when he was least expecting it, he would wake up, fighting again for his breath, expecting any minute that the water would close over his head and this time Tony would be too late. He was learning to deal with the nightmares thanks to a wonderful therapist; Kay Willets helped him to verbalise his fears, his concerns for the future, she taught him some strategies to deal with the panic when it came. As much as his physical therapy with Greg had healed his body, Kay's understanding was healing his mind, and thanks to both of them, and to Tony, he was back at his desk, and it was still _his _desk.

"The TADs worked over there Tim; I didn't want a repeat of the Keating scenario, can't have people messing around with your computer goat-rope stuff…" Gibbs was smiling as he spoke, and Tim responded in kind.

"Appreciate it Boss."

Gibbs glanced at his watch. "I would guess you've got about two minutes to get down to Abby's lab before she comes charging up here and gives you her own special welcome."

"On it."

He sat down for a moment, just to convince himself he really was here; he smiled broadly as he picked up the single black rose that had been lying on his keyboard.

"Thirty seconds."

"I'm gone." Tim headed down the stairs; he was still working his way to full fitness, and Greg had warned him not to slacken up on his physical exercise simply because he was tied to a desk...four hours a day to start, working up to full days, not in the field, he wasn't ready for that, getting closer, but still too far away for Tim's liking.

As soon as he stepped into the lab Abby hit the play button on her music centre, the theme from _Star Wars _reverberated around the lab and Tim knew he must be grinning like an idiot at her giant WELCOME banner that seemed to have been signed by just about everyone who worked here.

She ran toward him and then hesitated, she wanted to hug him so tight; but he looked so fragile...better than he had for six weeks, but still...he noticed her hesitation and covered the few yards between them in two paces, then threw his arms around her.

"I won't break Abs; I've missed having a hug from you."

Abby didn't have to be told twice, she put her arms round his waist and held on tight.

"I missed hugging you, I missed having you around, oh Tim, it is so good to have you back."

"It's great to be back. I was going stir crazy in my apartment; never thought I'd get tired of playing computer games, but after two weeks, let's say if I never see another Orc again, it will be too soon. So Abs, what are you working on?"

She gave him the details of the current case they were working and asked him to help her with the victim's computer hard drive. It wouldn't be much of a puzzle, Seaman Driscoll was no computer whizz, but Gibbs was happy to let Tim work on it, and it gave her an excuse to have Tim spend some time in the lab.

As he settled himself at the desk in her office she took a longer look at him. Definitely better, but definitely still in need of some TLC. The shadows under his eyes were lighter than they had been when he finally got them to agree he could go home to live on his own again. Abby knew he had found it tough at first, much as he wanted to regain his independence, his body had taken a fearsome battering, and even the smallest household tasks could wear him out. More than once one of them had found him fast asleep on his bed, fully clothed, too tired even to get changed for bed, but he wouldn't let them stay and he certainly wouldn't let them do his chores.

"You've all been taking care of me for so long; high time I started cooking for myself, even if it is only heating the very tasty dishes filling my freezer."

They'd all contributed to the provisions, although Tony and Gibbs' contributions had come from their favourite take out restaurants; now that his strict post-operative diet had been relaxed they wanted Tim to have the opportunity to choose for himself what he would like to eat.

Eventually he'd even gone shopping for himself, and for those trips he was happy to accept help. Abby had been delighted just to walk up and down the aisles in the market, while Tim pushed the cart. Seeing him doing ordinary, everyday things after being so very sick had made it the happiest shopping trip she could remember. Now he was here, back at NCIS, and she could see him almost any time she wanted, yes, this was definitely much better; there was a ding from Major Mass Spec and with a satisfied smile Abby got back to work.

Tim watched Abby walk to the machine; he wondered how long she would have stood looking at him if work hadn't called her away. He guessed he'd have to get used to lots of people keeping a careful eye on him…not that he minded, there really was no place he would rather be than back here, and if being the object of curious gazes for a few days was the price he had to pay, well he was quite content to pay it; he'd had to come to terms with much worse since he was hurt.

Living solo had not been without its problems, it wasn't just the nightmares, or even the exhaustion; some days he slipped into the darkest of moods when not even Tony's patent pick-me-up smile could raise his spirits. Those were the days when he couldn't picture himself ever getting back to NCIS, the days when he'd failed to meet his target in the gym, or been unable to complete his run with Tony. The days when he felt so out on a limb that he wanted to scream his frustrations to anyone who would listen, but he didn't, none of them deserved that.

Although Tony had taken the lion's share of his care, each and every one of them had contributed to his recovery. Whether it was driving him to his appointments, taking him out to a movie, out to dinner, going for a walk with him. He couldn't bring himself to tell them how bad he felt, it was on one of those days that he took out the card that Doctor Solanki had given him the day he was released from the hospital.

"You may not think so now Tim, but there will come a day when you need someone to talk with, someone outside your circle of friends who can bring a fresh perspective. I've known Kay for years, she's a very fine therapist, call her if you need help."

Tim had taken the card, but hadn't expected to use it, until the day that the thought he'd kept at bay throughout his recovery wouldn't let go...'Maybe it would have been better if I'd died.' That was no way to repay Tony for putting his own life at risk by jumping into the freezing water; he picked up the phone and dialled Kay Willet's number.

From his first appointment with her he acquired a new equilibrium in his life, there were still highs and lows, but the lows were not so deep and dark, and the highs became more frequent. His only regret was that he had waited so long to seek professional help. He was able to tell Kay things that he knew would have sounded hurtful to his friends, and he didn't want to hurt them, not when they were part of the reason he'd been able to come back to work today.

It was only to Kay that he would talk about his resentment that everyone seemed to be carrying on with their lives while he felt like a prisoner in his own body. She had let him cry the tears he kept inside when his friends were around, and encouraged him to be less afraid of showing his emotions to the people who mattered most to him.

"They've been through this with you Tim, not feeling your pain, only you could feel that, but they watched you, cried for you, prayed for you, don't shut them out."

After that he'd tried to be more open about how he felt, not the very darkest things, they were for Kay's ears only, but for the first time he was able to tell them how scared he had been that his active life was over, and that he would be consigned to the Cyber Crimes basement until he retired. He logged off the computer, and was surprised to find he'd been at the machine for two hours.

"Nothing here Abs, Driscoll was strictly a You Tube, gaming kind of guy."

"I wasn't expecting much, but thanks for looking. Are we doing lunch tomorrow?"

"You bet." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and made his way down the stairs. Today he was having lunch with someone very special. It had taken a few days after his return to consciousness to learn Jimmy's role in keeping him alive, it had taken real nerve to tell Tony to stop what he was doing, and to take his place…Tim had tried his very best to express his thanks, thoroughly embarrassing Jimmy in the process…but Tim didn't care, he was done hiding his feelings, so today as a small token of his enduring gratitude Tim was going to buy Jimmy and Bree the best lunch Washington DC had to offer.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Nine**

"Now I would say that is a very good reason for a celebration."

"Absolutely Ducky, we should all go out for a drink; say you'll come Gibbs, you never come out with us, but Tim's clear for field duty, how cool is that?"

"Cool enough for me to say yes."

Abby was bouncing with excitement; her Musketeers were going to be together again, at long last.

Tim couldn't quite believe that he had finally been passed fit for field duty; all the hours in the gym and on the firing range had finally paid off. He'd felt such a sense of elation when Director Vance signed off on his approval, he was going back in the field! He'd been happy to be back at NCIS and relishing again the intense activity of the squad room; but very quickly he had realised the frustration that came when Gibbs called out. "Gear up!" and he was left behind at his desk. Tim had channelled that frustration into working harder in the gym, spending part of every day at the firing range, running further and further, even in the freezing February weather.

Much as he may have hated being left behind, he was honest enough to admit he hadn't been ready for field duty before, more likely to be a hindrance than a help, worse still he could have put one of his team mates in danger because he'd returned too soon. So he set about his rehabilitation with single-minded determination – when Vance looked at his progress report Tim wanted him to have only one option…Now the decision day had arrived, and starting tomorrow he would be joining Gibbs and the others when they got the call to a crime scene.

Ziva switched off her computer, they didn't have an open case right now, so Gibbs had submitted to the inevitable consequences of Tim's news, he'd told everyone to finish early. She had been schooled to hide her emotions, but this evening, Ziva didn't care who saw the wide grin on her face. The team, her team, the men who had risked everything to save her, they were back together again, and everything was right with her world.

Tim was already reaching for his coat. "Come on people, time's a' wasting."

Abby cuffed him gently on the arm. "Some of us have to go get our coats."

"So go!"

Abby grabbed Ducky and Jimmy and practically dragged them to the elevator, Ducky called out. "We'll meet you in the parking lot…very shortly."

Acting without thought, on an instinct born of weeks caring for Tim, Tony took a step closer to his friend, reached out and started to fasten Tim's coat. For a split second Tim was dumbstruck, then he quickly pushed Tony's hands away. He hadn't worked himself to the point of exhaustion to have Gibbs and Ziva thinking he wasn't even capable of dressing himself.

"Tony, knock it off!"

"It's cold out, you need to keep warm." Tony couldn't understand Tim's problem, he'd done this many times while Tim was sick, when his hands shook so much from exhaustion that he couldn't even hold the buttons steady.

"I'm fine Tony. I can manage for myself; you don't have to help me with this any longer. I'm better now."

"But the doctor said you have to keep warm, you're vulnerable."

"Not any longer, that was when I was still recovering. Tony, don't you see? I'm passed fit for field duty, that part of our lives, it's over now, don't you see?"

Ziva and Gibbs watched in stunned silence as Tony leaned against the desk, and in a voice so low they could barely hear him, he whispered to Tim.

"No I don't see that...I see you lying in the mud, white as death…your lips were blue Tim...I feel you under my hands; cold...like ice...I...I thought I'd killed you Tim…that's what I see, every single day…"

Tony was visibly shaking; Tim wanted to respond, to help his friend. In all the time they had spent together since Byard's attack Tony had never told him what he was seeing. Tim couldn't let Tony carry this burden any longer, he took hold of Tony's arm.

"We're heading for a conference room Boss, a real one...you all go on ahead, we'll meet you later."

Gibbs simply nodded, he hadn't seen this coming, not for one second, he'd let them deal with it together right now, if they needed him he'd be around.

On the way to the conference room Tim got two cups of coffee from a vending machine, he put the cups on the table and waited for Tony to sit. He was still shaking, but it didn't seem as pronounced as before. Tim pushed the coffee toward Tony and sat beside him.

"You want to tell me what just happened?"

Tony held on tight to his coffee, staring into the cup, hoping the warmth would get the shivering under control. "It...I don't know; I should be happy you're fit to work I _am _happy, it's what we've been working for all this time...But every time I look at you I see you the way you were that day."

"Look at me now Tony." There was no movement. "Hey, I'm not in that coffee cup, look at me!"

The sharp edge to Tim's voice had Tony's head snap up.

"That's better; now take a good look Tony. I'm good, real good, and that's all thanks to you. You do realise that, don't you?"

"What else could I do Tim? You were hurt because of what I did, because I wouldn't wait for back-up; I thought I'd killed you…"

"Tony, listen to me. You saved me; I'm still here thanks to you. My heart stopped, that should have been it for me, but you wouldn't give up…"

Tony carried on talking as if he hadn't heard a word Tim had said. "They say in a situation like that there's no time to think, just act…but all the time I was doing compressions, trying to keep your heart beating…all the time I was thinking, my fault…it's my fault you're dead…because…Tim, I thought you were dead…I knew he'd cut you…I'd seen the blood in the water; but I couldn't see…and I couldn't stop the compressions, and all the time I didn't know if you'd already bled out…and it would have been on me."

"No! Tony, you have to stop this. It was because of Byard, he stabbed me, he let me fall into the water, not you. You saved me Tony, time for life to get back to normal, for you to start a few new McNicknames…"

Tony lifted his head a little. "Like what?"

"Why are you asking me? You used to have an endless supply."

A small smile started to play around Tony's lips. "Maybe I'll get to work on that."

Tim picked up the coffee cups and threw them in the trash and rested his hand on Tony's shoulder.

"You've been so busy taking care of me you forgot to look out for yourself, and I didn't see it…too wrapped up in myself. That stops right here Tony, you know, you should talk to someone."

"A shrink?"

"A therapist, yeah...I'm seeing someone, you know that...it helps Tony, it really does...You can rant to them about what a pain in the butt I've been, and I never have to know."

"Not going to happen Tim…not the therapist, I think that's a good idea…maybe it is time to talk…but I won't say you've been a pain in the butt, you were hurt and you had to heal."

"True Tony, but you didn't hurt me, that was all on Byard; you saved me, don't you get it? If you hadn't dragged me out of the water and kept working on me, I would be dead; I owe you my life Tony…"

"What if it happens again? If you get hurt like that…I don't think I could deal with all this more than once in my life."

Tim lifted his hand and for the first time administered a head slap. Tony's eyes opened wide in astonishment.

"Tony, how many years have we worked together?"

"Seven…eight."

"Right, and how many times have I been hurt? Once…this one time. You can't do this job if you're going to be scared for me all the time Tony. Any one of us could get hurt…killed, on any given day, it comes with the badge, but so long as we look out for each other like you looked out for me, we'll do just fine."

Tony looked at Tim with a slight smile on his lips. "You're right about looking out for each other; not about getting hurt, how about when your shoulder got dislocated?"

"Doesn't count Tony, I didn't even get to have the good pain-killers like you…You know, looking back, I should have milked that a little more, got you running round after me like I was chasing after Gibbs when he put his arm out."

"Dream on McHopeful, Werth broke my nose, there's no way I could have taken care of anyone but me."

Tim smiled at Tony's first attempt at a McNickname, he stepped closer to Tony, put his hands on Tony's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Tony, these last months…you have been…I'll say it, you've been closer to me that anyone in the world. I've never had a brother, but if I did, he couldn't mean more to me that you. Without you, I don't know that I would be going back to work tomorrow; not only because you kept me from death's door, but because you stood by me every day since, even when I was being mean to everyone around me. I almost lost my life Tony, and you gave it back to me, it's a debt I can never repay."

"I think you paid up front." Tony's voice was barely a whisper. "I know I kid around, but I don't forget Tim; you saved my life…the Arnett case, when that crazy woman drove right into me…I could feel my grip loosening, another few seconds and I'd have been splattered all over the parking garage. In my book that makes us even."

"Not even close Tony, let's call that a down-payment…Come on, let's go join the others, I don't want to miss the chance to buy Gibbs a drink that isn't full of caffeine." Tim smiled broadly, and Tony finally relaxed enough to put his arm round Tim's shoulders and guide him to the door.

"Well if you're buying, I'm definitely in; lead on McLazarus."


	11. Chapter 11

3

**Epilogue**

Two Weeks Later

Things had been pretty quiet for the MCRT since Tim got his field duty clearance, one possible kidnap for ransom that turned out to be an angry ex-husband taking his daughter away from the family home; and a depressingly simple murder, a drunken argument that got out of hand. They were all completing the formalities on the latter case when Gibbs got a call.

"Gear up! Dead Navy Sailor, alley, North-East DC, let's move!"

Gibbs let Tony drive, he had a cup of coffee to finish, and he had some thinking to do…Things weren't the same, that was obvious, Tim was back but things weren't like they had been before. Maybe it was asking too much for everything to go back to how they had been; they'd all been through a life-changing experience, Tim most of all…He'd lived through dying, and not many people get to do that; small wonder he had turned to a therapist…and now Tony was seeing someone too.

That had taken Gibbs by surprise, and it had shaken him, he thought he knew his team, but for months Tony had been suffering and he never saw it. Sure, Tony liked to hide behind the face of a clown, and that's exactly what he'd been doing all these weeks, joking around, pushing Tim, supporting him…They had all been so wrapped up in Tim, his struggle to survive, then his long laborious path to full recovery, that they'd lost sight of what all this was doing to Tony. If the memory of watching Tony pumping life into Tim's heart wouldn't leave him, Gibbs couldn't help thinking how much more vivid must that recollection be to the man who held Tim's lifeless body in his arms and dragged him from the water.

Gibbs felt as Team Leader there was something he should be doing, but what could he do that would make things better? Maybe doing nothing was the best option right now. Ducky had warned him that he would need to be patient, and that had never been his strong suit...but he could do it, they'd waited so long for Tim's return to full fitness, he could wait a little longer for his team to be back to how it was...

As the truck pulled up next to a Metro PD cruiser the rain that had been threatening all morning started to fall.

Tony pushed open his door and called out to Tim.

"Looks like I get to see if you meant it."

"Meant what Tony?"

"Hah! I knew you'd forget; a rainy alley…pretty much like heaven you said."

Tim grinned as he remembered that first taste of the outside world after days of being confined to the hospital. "So I did, and you know what Tony, it's pretty close…"

"Hey! You two, remember we have work to do? I know your crime-scene technique is a little rusty Tim, but you won't find anything standing by the truck."

"On it Boss."

Tim was still smiling as he carried the crime scene kit over to the body. He knew it wasn't appropriate at a sombre scene such as this, but he couldn't subdue the sheer exhilaration of being part of the team again. Now if only Tony would stop being so...careful around him the whole time, if he could talk with him more often the way he had just now, then life would be so good.

Their examination of the scene had suggested that Seaman Gonzales had not been killed in the alley, but they gathered all the evidence they could and headed back to NCIS.

Tony and Ziva were supposed to be calling the Seaman's crew mates, but Tony had been distracted by the appearance in the bull pen of Callie Jenks, Temporary Personal Assistant to Director Vance, and according to Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, smoking hot! He shot up from his chair and was firing up the DiNozzo charm, this woman he had to date...

Gibbs was about to call him out, to remind him that he was on the clock, when Tim returned after collating the evidence with Abby. Gibbs saw Tim cast a quick glance in Tony's direction, and a slightly wolfish smile crossed his lips...Gibbs sat back and waited to see what happened.

Tim walked back to his desk; he slowed his pace as he came close to Tony and Callie. Tony was in full flow...

"So that's your favourite movie, really? No way! It's always been my favourite too, _Sleepless In Seattle, _it's like the most romantic, amazing movie ever. I could watch it over and over."

"I have it on DVD, if you wanted to watch it together...sometime, maybe..." Callie couldn't believe her luck, all the girls in the temp pool were a little sweet on DiNozzo, they would be so jealous when they knew she was going on a date with him.

Tim stopped in his tracks, placed his hand lightly on Tony's arm and smiled warmly at Callie.

"You should definitely go out with Tony Ms Jenks, I can guarantee a date with DiNozzo will not disappoint, the first time he kissed me...when his lips met mine, it was...oxygen; my whole life changed, a new world opened up for me."

Tim had managed to maintain a straight face, but he knew that wasn't going to last long, so he made his way to his desk, ducked behind the monitor and started typing.

Callie was already heading for the elevator. "I had no idea...if I had known I wouldn't...see you around Tony."

Tony watched her go without a word, then he turned toward Tim, his expression one of utter astonishment; he tried to find the words, but no sound came out. Gibbs was grinning, he hadn't seen Tony in that state since Tim told him he had a tattoo; his grin got wider when he saw Ziva's face, she was staring at Tim with wide-eyed surprise, a smile starting to form on her lips.

Tim peeped from behind his screen. "You okay there Tony? You look a little out of breath...want me to help with that?" He puckered his lips and blew a kiss in Tony's direction.

Finally Tony's vocal chords decided to work. "After all I did for you...you...she was hot McFibber."

"Hey...I don't lie Tony, did you or did you not kiss me?"

"Yeah, but...not kissing like...kissing! I am so going to get you for this, when you least expect it, there'll be payback."

Tim's smile was wider than ever. "Bring it on Tony, I'm ready."

Gibbs leaned back in his chair with a real sense of satisfaction, it wasn't going to be back to how it was before; his team was going to be even better than before.

THE END

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